举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文
2018-08-03
来自互联网
91
0
摘要:对于雅思写作来说,范文是好东西,因为大部分人没有那种幸运,可以有一位老师从旁指点自己作文的不足,今天三立在线教育雅思网为大家带来的是举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文的相关资讯,希望能给备考的烤鸭们带来一定的帮助,赶紧来看看吧!

  

  对于雅思写作来说,范文是好东西,因为大部分人没有那种幸运,可以有一位老师从旁指点自己作文的不足,今天三立在线教育雅思网为大家带来的是举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文的相关资讯,希望能给备考的烤鸭们带来一定的帮助,赶紧来看看吧!

  怎么来学习一篇9分范文?如何最大化地利用它?来自native speaker + IELTS examiner Simon的范文一篇,先阅读,再评鉴.

  雅思题目:

  More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

  前考官9分范文:

  Cities are often seen as places of opportunity, but there are also some major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for the average inhabitant.

  The main problem for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

  However, there are various steps that governments could take to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.

  In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.(273 words, band 9)

  雅思9分范文评析:

  本题是一道多问题类型话题,①需要考生解析居住城市所遇见的困难,②以及给出政府所能做出的改善建议。

  Cities are often seen as places of opportunity(a better life), but there are also some major drawbacks(extremely difficult/difficulties) of living in a large metropolis(a city). In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life(make urban life better) for the average inhabitant(everyone).

  首段:改写题目+自己想法。括号中为原文题目。

  注意:Simon考官偏爱两句首段方式,简洁明了。

  句式:被动句+there be句型

  The main problem for anyone (who hopes to migrate to a large city) is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

  第二段,共五句:

  ①+②:生活成本高+细节拓展(举例:住房、交通、食物)——使用比较:be much higher, pay higher prices

  ③:社会问题多(举例:犯罪、贫穷)——使用比较:in comparison

  ④:空气污染重(源于交通问题,然后顺带提到交通拥挤)

  ⑤:简单总结

  句式:定语从句+表语从句

  However, there are various steps (that governments could take) to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.

  第三段,共五句:

  ①:简单总起

  ②:方案一,降低生活成本——投资廉价房源

  ③+④:方案二,减少空气污染、减轻交通压力——限制汽车使用,使用清洁型新汽车。举例——伦敦拥堵费

  ⑤:方案三,减轻交通压力——从市中心外移工业企业

  句式:there be+定语从句+非限制性定语从句

  In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality(make urban life better) of life for all city residents(everyone).

  结尾一句,再次申明观点,改写原文,或者改写首段第二句观点皆可。

  全文总结:

  全文共运用:被动句+表语从句+非限制定语从句+2句there be句+2句定语从句

  large cities —— a large metropolis —— urban areas —— major cities

  a better life —— places of opportunity

  difficulties —— major drawbacks

  do much more —— tackle these problems —— implement a range of measures

  improve city life —— enhance the quality of life

  everyone —— average inhabitant —— all city residents

  rural areas —— a small town or village —— provincial towns —— regions

  public transport —— vehicle —— traffic

  public transport systems are usually overcrowded —— congestion

  注意:同义替换并不代表意思相同,只要类似即可。

  最后是来自Simon考官的友情提示:不要在连接词上费太多心思,用first of all替代first绝非文章的亮点所在!

  所以,从词汇句子角度,可读;从行文框架思路角度,可读;从论证方法角度,可读,一鱼三吃,说的即是如此雅思好文。

  如上就是三立网课教育小编为大家带来的举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文的相关资讯,掌握最新雅思资讯,敬请关注(三立在线教育雅思网)更多雅思考试资讯以及备考资料免费领!

三立在线针对2018年的雅思考试,开设“雅思基础课程、强化课程、冲刺课程”。想快速提分的同学可以在线咨询客服,了解课程详情,预约名师1V1试听课;为你量身打造专属雅思学习方案;免费领取雅思考试学习资料/备考干货/视频课件/直播公开课/原版英文杂志!

作者:素手挽歌
0
0
已有0人对该文章表态,0%的人喜欢

您的赞赏,是对我创作的最大鼓励

赞赏
0人赞赏
你可能喜欢
热门评论(0)
loading
正在载入...
加载失败,请重试
已经到底了
(0)
请输入评论内容/您的评论中包含违禁敏感词误
×
请先登录您的账号


您还未登录,不能发表评论

去登录
×
索取IELTS必备资料
验证手机,获得IELTS独家备考资料合集下载地址
请填写正确的手机号码
验证码错误
关注热点
  • 考试政策
  • 备考指导
  • 考试技巧
获取资料:http://pan.baidu.com/s/1ge59PRX
资料密码:os03
前往查看



请保持手机通话畅通,您很快会接到
来自三立IELTS提分咨询师的电话。



请添加三立IELTS老师答疑微信号
(ID:Emily_professional),即可开始提问。